Monday, December 7, 2009

The biggest fear

Dear readers,

Remember Fear Factor show yg dahulunya menjadi kegilaan semua termasuk aku sendiri.
Now there is a new show called Wipeout juga idea org2 gila yg jadi creator Fear Factor. I'm not going to talk about these shows.

I actually just figured out what my biggest fear is.

Being alone and stranded without my loved ones

Being pregnant, I kept getting weird dreams yang kadang2 tak masuk akal, kdg2 drama lebih.. sometimes i felt like my brain is playing tricks on me.

I can't imagine my life without my husband and family and also this little one inside me whom i am so attached to right now. Losing one of them means part of me is gone. I pray really2 hard for Allah will guard them from harm.

As for you, my baby, . you are 5 months now inside of me and has grown so big. At least my tummy is (: You are getting big that its hard for Mommy to move around that fast. And everyone kept telling mommy you are a boy. .

Mommy is in such an emotional wreck today, crying secretly in the washroom...twice. I'm so scared that I can't be the best mom for you and can't protect you all the time from things that beyond my control. Maybe I'm being overreacted here but I just can't help it,Mommy loves you so much baby. Can't wait to see you..

10 comments:

  1. You will be a GREAT Mommy !! This is just hormons kot...istighfar selawat banyak banyak ... moga Allah swt permudahkan segalanya...amin..

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  2. Hellloooo...

    Just would like to say THANK YOU! Cos thru ur blog it led me to many other awesome blogs and after reading all the awesome blogs, I’ve gathered a lot of ideas and inspirations for my big day which is 10 mths away =) Now, I've managed to gather enough courage to open up a blog of my own =) Been following ur blog and some others and when the big day arrived I was very very excited and even though I'm here in Singapore it felt very overwhelming. To know that some of the ladies sudah pun berbadan dua like yourself really got me very excited!
    Thank You for deciding to open up a blog…

    Love,
    Lydia

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  3. dont worry dear...everything akan ok..i'allah...mintak doa banyak2 pada Tuhan semoga segala nya dipermudahkan dan sentiasa doa org2 yg ada di sekeliling skrg akan sentiasa dgn kita utk bg semangat... :)

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  4. it will be fine dear.tawakal tu mesti..we can't expect everything to go as we planned coz even when u think everything has gone wrong, we fail to see the things that has gone right..count the blessings, not the mishaps..

    time preggers ni mmg selalu mimpi ngarut2 and yes..our minds plays tricks on us.i get paranoid too..even more after what i have been through. but we have to bersabar and keep our faith.insya allah it's going to be fine..focus on the good things ok..

    keep a positive mind dear..everything will be ok...trust me..:)

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  5. Bebeh, dun worry. Sometimes memang macam tu.
    Kejap-kejap u akan ter emo, ter lebih happy, terjadi pelupa sangat (macam i..haha)...

    Insya Allah, doa banyak-banyak, everything will be ok. Can't wait to see your baby too.

    :)

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  6. insyallah everything will be ok...juz keep positive mind..i pun selalu mimpi bukan2..and sometimes emotional mmg x stabil..i selalu menangis waktu nk tido..tak tahu kenapa..so we need to be strong and happy for the baby..

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  7. jgnla pikir bukan2 mak buyung.. huhuhu, ckp kat org pandai padahal diri sendiri dulu pun time peknen lagi kronik. apapun itu semua akan berlalu.. tak sabar gak nk tgk bb kamu itu!!

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  8. sox- yes.. hormons menangis agaknya. senang benar bercucuran air mata. uhuk.. thanks pi..

    lydia- hi my friend from seberang laut. Good to hear that! you know its true when they say sharing is caring.. :) good luck with your preparation and all the best yea

    alena- thanks dear. Hari ni dah ok sikit.yup, mmg tak lupa doa everytime lepas solat semoga Allah permudahkan urusan semasa mengandung n masa bersalin. Tak sabar rasanya nak pegang budak kecik ni :)

    sasha- yea, hopefully it will all go away. I can't imagine how you go thru those painful ordeal. You are a very strong girl, you know dat? ok.. will try to put on a positive mind after this...semoga kali ni both of us selamat semuanya. kita sekolahkan anak sama2 ye.. huhu

    nuurill- Bab pelupa tu i dah macam ada sikit2.. tp belum kronik mcm u lagi la.. :p anyway, thanks for the support babe. muah

    whitelily- time menangis tu mmg i kesian kat baby sbb teresak2 betul, kat dlm tu sure dia cam.. apsal la rasa cam earthquake ni? ehehe.. will try to control selagi boleh :)

    murni- ini agaknya peringkat2 yg perlu dilalui oleh mak buyung, ni baru sikit kan? ntahape2 aku ni. anyway thanks che mon!

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  9. azi...ouh...jgnlah suka fikir dan menerawang yg bukan2....

    fikir yg sonok2 dn positif, nnti pon bby pon ceria jugak

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  10. dear..jangan fikir yang bukan-bukan..u kene kuat dari segi mental tau..u can do it! banyakkan doa..semoga segala-galanya selamat, k.. :P

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